Control

I went out to the garden this morning to see how everything is coming up.  It is slow going, but the things that are showing are growing.  Peas are getting bigger, and the lettuce has perked up.  The green onions which used to look like little threads are now taller and fatter and looking like they may survive.  There is no sign of the beans, and it has been a week.  Crossing my fingers.  I begged them this morning to pop through the dirt, but I don't have much faith in that approach.

The last couple of days I have been making notes, drawing diagrams of the garden and pondering  what I will do next year.  I have also been pretty vocal about not planting in a timely manner this year, and by god, next year I am going to be on time and get everything in on time and do it right.  Then my soon-to-be husband said:  "Honey, you could not have planted earlier.  It was too wet and cold, and we couldn't till the garden until we did."  SMACK!   Brick to the head.

I am from the city.  I have lived my life in control of my environment.  I control the temp of my house, where I go, what I do, who I do it with blah blah blah.  I have also had some control over who comes in my house.  Living out in the country all kinds of critters feel free to march right into my house and help themselves to whatever is in the house.  I was eating lunch the other day and a mouse came out from under the refridgerator and looked around, helped himself to some crumbs and went back under.  He probably came in when the door was open, or found a sliver of space somewhere to come in.  I got spiders, bugs, and flying things that help themselves to my space also. 

It hit me that in all my research, planning, ruminating, and intentions, that I was at the mercy of the weather in regards to this whole gardening thing.  So I have been missing that whole Zen thing when it comes to the garden.  Patience, and adaptability.  I just have to wait until the time is right.  It is going to do what it is going to do.  I had to learn that lesson when I had children.  I realized how much I DID NOT have control over someone else.  Here it is again:  I got no control over the weather.  It is amazing how my false sense of control permeates all that I do.

So...I am going to wait and watch, and learn the technique of gardening, and apply the philosophy of patience...we'll see how I do at that.  I will try to approach this next phase of maintaining the garden, and composting with patience.  Wish me luck...I certainly need it.

Karen